My Mother Worries Too Much

Here I am, back in school.  Summer is behind me, and the chilly days of fall are settling in.  As my parents are helping me carry my things to my dorm room, I realize I’ve forgotten my water bottle.  I follow them back out to the car to retrieve it, but it’s not there!  I must have left it at home by mistake!  Ah, well.  Not to worry; I’ll survive without it.  I say my goodbyes to my loving family, and am about to go back into the building, when this exchange takes place:

MOM (to DAD): You’re going to walk her back in, aren’t you?

ME:  No, that’s fine.  You don’t have to take me all the way back to my room.  Bye.

DAD: Bye

MOM: But what if something happens to you on the way?

ME: … I… I live right there.

MOM: But what if someone hurts you?

DAD:  She can walk back on her own, she’s fine.

MOM: HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF WE JUST LEFT AND SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER??!

DAD: …

ME: He’d feel bad, but the chances of that happening… Mom, it’s broad daylight!

MOM: So? 

ME: NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME I LIVE RIGHT THERE!!!

MOM: SOMEONE COULD ATTACK YOU ON THE WAY!!!

DAD:  Your mother could be right…

MOM: THANK YOU!

DAD:  Those kids heading into the dining hall could be planning to kidnap you right now.

MOM: THEY COULD BE!

ME: NO, they’re NOT!

MOM:  Fine, fine.  Do what you want.  I just don’t want my daughter murdered, sorry I care…

I'm about to head back when my dad and I start talking about comics and other things that we tend to get carried away with, when-

MOM:  STOP TALKING!!!  LET HER GO IN BEFORE IT’S DARK!!!

It’s about 4:30, by the way.

ME:  Mom, I walk around here after dark all the time.

MOM: WHAT??!  WHY!!?

ME:  I HAVE NIGHT CLASSES!

 MOM: WELL, THAT’S STUPID!  DON’T THEY KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS?!  I DON”T WANT YOU WALKING AROUND AT NIGHT ANY…

 

Finally, I’m able to say my goodbyes and leave my family in the parking lot.  As I walk to the dorm, however…

ME:  HE WORKS HERE!  STOP FOLLOWING ME!  GO HOME!

DAD:  I’m sorry.  She made me follow you.

MOM: TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET THERE SO I KNOW YOU’RE OK!

And, like a good daughter, I do.  But I still don’t understand my mother’s worries.  I’ve been going to this school for three years, now.  I’ve been walking this campus all that time.  Why the worry now?

Anyway, I finally am able to return to my room and relax.

Mom is silly... I'm perfectly safe here!

...everyone wants me dead.

QUICK CHANGE!

I've been away for a while, but I hope you are all ready for a new round of completely fun, completely crazy, Completely Inaccurate stories following my senior year in college.  I'm not hanging up the bustier and star-spangled shorts just yet!